20
Jan
11

Early Onset Midlife Crisis


It appears to be that time of the year again when everything is on fast forward, there don’t appear to be enough hours in the day to get work completed; there are chores to do at home and people to see! I’m at the point of losing track of plans (about time I invested in a diary for this year). Does anyone have any tricks they use to ensure they have a proper work/home/social balance? Currently I appear to be focusing on work and social – I’ve moved from only seeing friends on weekends to seeing them mid-week as well. This redistribution of time is taking its toll on my ‘home’ time which normally includes a little bit of downtime, cleaning, cooking and all the usual house hold dramas.

My usual ‘always tired’ is getting worse, but I’m also trying to include an hour of exercise into my daily routine as I need to drop between 20 and 30 KG in the next 12 months or so, a big task but I’m determined to stop looking like a whale before my wedding. My reading has skidded to a grinding halt – previously I would finish a novel in less then a week but now I’ve found myself working on the same book coming up to 2 months now! With a stack of new books I haven’t even cracked the covers of yet sitting on my bedside table BLASPHEMY! Some of these books are by my favorite authors, these are normally devoured at an alarming pace through a sleepless night of reading on the day of release.

It seams this focus on being an adult, having a clean home and acting responsible is forcing me to stop activities I previously relished. Is being a grown up worth it? Should I focus on having fun and enjoying myself, household cleanliness be damned? I’m not sure which way is right. My brother appears to know what he wants to do – a trip to Europe! but what about the cost? Think about that later! That’s what credit cards are for! And it works for him, he’s chipping away at that debt and has a world of experiences under his belt that I can only dream about.

Is my plan wrong? Get married, buy a house, have children. Is it dull? Will I look back and wonder why I squandered my youth on responsibilities? Responsibilities be DAMNED! Screw it, I’m over being a grown up. I want to travel, I want to experience the world! I want to learn another language, I want to go clubbing, I want to get drunk, I want to laugh and NOT think about tomorrow. But thinking about tomorrow is a large part of who I am. There needs to be balance. I need to find the happy medium that allows me to accomplish everything I want to do before I’m to old to really enjoy it. Some of my dreams are already gone – an extended trip overseas teaching English can’t happen; I moved out of home, I have rent and bills to pay, I own so much STUFF that there is no way I could squeeze it all back into a room at my parents house. Doors to opportunities are closing at an alarming rate.

I can’t be selfish about it either, it’s not like I can just look at what I want to do, I have a partner who I plan to spend the rest of my life with. He’s content with life and it makes me feel like a horrible wench that I’m not. I highly doubt he’d appreciate me gallivanting around the world without him and he has a standard of accommodation that would servilely affect the duration of trips in most parts of the world.

What should I do? If someone could write an application that assessed your wants, needs and dreams and plotted out a life plan for you I’d be set. What do I do next? Ah my ‘Life Plan’ says take a job paying x – y amount in this field I love and follow the following budget to acquire enough funds to purchase a house in 5 years time while enjoying 2 weeks overseas annually. If only life were that simple. Can’t someone make it so?

Signing Off – MCL

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7 Responses to “Early Onset Midlife Crisis”


  1. 1 Shiinto
    January 20, 2011 at 1:19 pm

    I dont’ get it. You mention a plan: A, B, C. You mention a bunch of things you want to do: X, Y, Z. How come none of your things are on your plan? You made it…

    • January 20, 2011 at 1:33 pm

      A B C are things I want to do too, I can’t really do all of them unfortunately. If I do lots of travel etc I won’t be able to afford to buy a house or have kids, hell I wouldn’t even be able to afford the wedding! It’s about prioritising and the, I guess you’d call it sensible? Part of me is telling me to get standard life stuff sorted before having fun *shrugs*, I donno, it’s just the way my mind works. I hate my mind.

      • 3 Shiinto
        January 20, 2011 at 1:43 pm

        Can you do them all? Sure you can… apply a little logic (antithetical to the title of this blog, I know:) – if you want to do A B C and X Y Z, and A blocks X, and B block Y and Z, do X before A, and don’t do B until Y and Z are done… nothing says you have to do the so-called “sensible” stuff first, or soon, or even in order…

        • January 20, 2011 at 1:50 pm

          current year 2011 – age this year 23
          maximum age for children (personal preference) – 30 year will reach maximum 2018
          Total available years 7
          total number of children wanted 3
          so minus 3 years for pregnency, gap between kids etc
          4 usable years

          4 years to travel, learn another language, and buy a house. I don’t think that’s doable. 😦 Thus why I’m freaking out about all this stuff. There just isn’t time!

          • 5 Shiinto
            January 20, 2011 at 2:49 pm

            In my view, you’re compromising the wrong things… it’s much easier to take a year or two extra to do your stuff have the 3rd kid at 32 (or something) than it is to try and go travelling with 3 kids in tow… but it’s your life and your stuff…

          • January 20, 2011 at 2:59 pm

            My sisters had complications having children after 30. I’m concerned about that. One of my sisters almost died, the other took 6 or 7 years to conceive.

    • January 20, 2011 at 1:37 pm

      Oh also, I don’t so much have a plan as a bunch of stuff I want to do – the whole post is about being at a crossroads of trying to decide what to do. That’s my dilemma.


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